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Love Doesn’t Hurt (Pt. 2)

10/28/2014

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Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Love Doesn’t Hurt (Pt. 2).   This segment is a continuation of the previous passionate relationship principle (PRP); this is part two of the PRP entitled Love Doesn’t Hurt.   As previously mentioned, safety is a requirement in any loving relationship; hence, the importance of making people aware of domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence) and its impact.  When people are in relationships that are characterized by domestic violence, they may not even realize it.  It may seem obvious to those outside the relationship, but the couple in the relationship may not realize that domestic violence is what’s really occurring. 

So, what is domestic violence?    Well, in the State of North Carolina this is what constitutes domestic violence:  “ Under North Carolina law, domestic violence is ‘the attempt by one person to injure, stalk or rape another person with whom he has an intimate relationship’." 1   Every year In the United States 1/3 of the female homicide victims, were women who were killed by an intimate partner. 1


If you’re in a domestic violence situation and want help, call 911 or, in the Greensboro, NC area, contact the Family Victims' Unit, at 336-373-2331.   If you’re in any other area of the U.S. and need help, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

 Domestic violence situations are often characterized by abusive acts used to exert power or control over another person.  Typically, there will be issues of power and control in the relationship before an act of domestic violence occurs. 1 

Here are some ways in which acts of power and control may be exhibited in a relationship (since the aggressor/abuser is typically male, you’ll notice the use of gender specific wording below) 2: 

Trying to intimidate her
Using the children to hurt her emotionally (e.g. threatening to take the children away)
Using emotional abuse tactics (e.g. name calling, humiliation)
Treating her less than because she’s female (male privilege) 
Isolating her (controlling who she can see and what she can do, especially isolation from family, friends, and support)
Controlling the money as a means to control her
He denies that his behavior is abusive
Using threats to control her

Questions and Actions
Do you know of anyone in a relationship characterized by domestic violence?  If so, are you going to share information and resources with them to help them? 

Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Love Doesn’t Hurt (Pt. 2).  


Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)

#domesticviolence


References
1              Police Department, City of Greensboro, NC.  (n.d.).  Domestic Violence.   Retrieved October28, 2014, from http://www.greensboro-nc.gov/index.aspx?page=3705

2              Police Department, City of Greensboro, NC.  (n.d.).  Power and Control Wheel.   Retrieved October28, 2014, from  
http://www.greensboro-nc.gov/modules/showdocument.aspx?documentid=15328


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    Author

    Dr. Simon Whittaker
    is a  relationship  and sexual integrity coach,  and former host of the Radio Talk Show Relationship Fridays.  He helps singles prepare for their ideal relationship and helps couples enhance their relationship. He also and serves as a recovery coach specializing in addressing lust, porn, sex, and love addiction.  

    The Blog - 
    After examining national research of long-term, happily married couples by Olson, Olson-Sigg, and Larson (2008), we are presenting  powerful tools in the blog.  I will be focusing on one of the important characteristics and give specific tools and principles that you can apply immediately to enhance your relationship.   Whether you are single and want to prepare for a great relationship someday or married and want to ensure that your marriage is as fulfilling as it can be, you’ll find these principles to be valuable.   After all don’t you want your relationship to be passionate?   

    Teleconference audio files can be accessed by clicking on Services then Podcasts. 

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