Today’s PRP is about us, not our mates. It’s about what we can do to enhance our relationship and empower ourselves. In any long-term relationship there will certainly be times when there are disagreements. There will be times when spouses are upset or frustrated with each other. But if you want to have a relationship in which both of you are satisfied with the way that you talk to each other (one of the key factors that long-term, happily married couples have in common),1 you’ll have be able to use techniques that enable you to communicate calmly-- the vast majority of the time-- in spite of difficulties that you may be experiencing. But the first step is to recognize that you have the power to choose be calm when communicating with your mate. Although that may sound like a simple concept, it is a very empowering one.
So, if you’re able to remain calm when talking to your mate, in spite of personally frustrating challenges that you may be experiencing, your mate is more likely to hear what you’re saying, more likely to hear your message, than your madness.
Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: If you’re calm when talking, your mate hears your message, not your madness.
Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)
Passionate Relationship Principle (PRP): If you’re calm when talking, your mate hears your message, not your madness.
1. David Olson, Amy Olson-Sigg, and Peter Larson, National Survey of Marriage. The Couple Checkup: Find Your Relationship Strengths (Nashville: Thomas Nelson,2008)