In a recent segment I suggested that you do a self-evaluation of your performance in your marriage (#MarriagePerformanceReview). It’s much like the self-evaluation you might do at work prior to meeting with your boss, but the self-evaluation assignment that you did for our last segment involved evaluating yourself to determine how effective you were last year in caring for the most valuable resource you have been given—your spouse.
Men, let’s examine some of the specific questions from the previous segment: Is your wife as happy and joyful as when you met her? Is her smile as bright and broad as ever? Does she feel loved and appreciated? Or, is she overwhelmed and overworked?
So, if your wife were conducting your marriage performance review for last year and she asked you: “Do I feel loved and appreciated?” Would her response match the response that you gave for your self-evaluation? During your self-evaluation, did you write: “Yes, my wife feels loved and appreciated. I have earned a perfect score on this job responsibility.” ? Now that she’s performing your annual review, will she agree with the score that you’ve given yourself, or will she say that you’ve only earned 50% instead of the 100% that you thought you earned. Guys, we don’t get to judge if she feels loved, instead we get to take the actions of love and then she’ll let us know if we are on the right track. That’s what the Marriage Performance Review is all about.
Men, what about some of the other questions that we examined from the previous segment . . . Is your wife as happy and joyful as when you met her? Is her smile as bright and broad as ever? Or, is she overwhelmed and overworked? These questions have something in common, they require that you have the kind of communication in your marriage that is satisfying and enriching (we covered some of the specific tools to accomplish this in the September and October blogs). When both spouses are satisfied with how they communicate with each other, they are better connected and aware of what is happening in the life of their mate. So, Guys, even if you can’t do anything about your wife’s workload at her job, if she can communicate with you about what’s happening, her load will feel lighter for her.
Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is for the guys, and it’s in the form of a question: Guys, do your marriage self-evaluation scores measure up to the Marriage Performance Review scores of your wife—the one who’s evaluating you?
Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)
#MarriagePerformanceReview, #CommuinicationInMarriage, #lovecpr