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Feelings aren’t Facts, but the Importance of Feelings is a Fact   

11/3/2014

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Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Feelings aren’t Facts, but the Importance of Feelings is a Fact  

In relationships men tend to be more comfortable discussing thoughts, as opposed to feelings.  So, after work, as John and Susan are talking about their day, John might talk about the project that he is working on, sharing facts primarily.  But, he’s probably less likely to talk about how he feels as a result of working on the project.   Susan, as she talks about her day, may be more detailed and more likely to share feelings or emotions associated with the day’s activities.  But, for both John and Susan it’s important that they share their feelings about the things that are important to them, and if those feelings are shared with their spouse, it can enhance the relationship and the marriage. 

Although feelings aren’t facts, the importance of feelings is a fact.  In a national study of marriage, the 6th most problematic area for couples was that one spouse wanted their mate to share their feelings more frequently.  In fact, the issue occurs so frequently in marriage that 82% of couples face this concern.1   So, feelings may not be facts, but the importance of sharing feelings is a fact. 

 Questions and Actions

In thinking about a recent event that both of you participated in, how did it make you feel?  Where there feelings that made you feel vulnerable?   Did you share those vulnerable feelings with your spouse? 

Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Feelings aren’t Facts, but the Importance of Feelings is a Fact  

Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)


#emotionalintelligence, #feelings, #love

 References

1              David Olson, Amy Olson-Sigg, and Peter Larson, National Survey of Marriage.  The Couple Checkup: Find Your Relationship Strengths (Nashville: Thomas Nelson,2008)


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    Author

    Dr. Simon Whittaker
    is a  relationship  and sexual integrity coach,  and former host of the Radio Talk Show Relationship Fridays.  He helps singles prepare for their ideal relationship and helps couples enhance their relationship. He also and serves as a recovery coach specializing in addressing lust, porn, sex, and love addiction.  

    The Blog - 
    After examining national research of long-term, happily married couples by Olson, Olson-Sigg, and Larson (2008), we are presenting  powerful tools in the blog.  I will be focusing on one of the important characteristics and give specific tools and principles that you can apply immediately to enhance your relationship.   Whether you are single and want to prepare for a great relationship someday or married and want to ensure that your marriage is as fulfilling as it can be, you’ll find these principles to be valuable.   After all don’t you want your relationship to be passionate?   

    Teleconference audio files can be accessed by clicking on Services then Podcasts. 

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