Making a commitment to spend time together is certainly an important goal. Couples that want to maintain a strong relationship, typically have activities that they make a commitment to do together.  Then they make a commitment to do those activities together.  I know it sounds very unromantic, but if necessary schedule the activity in your calendar.
Here are a few examples of activities to bring you together, strengthen and maintain your relationship:  

• A meal together (preferably dinner).  This is a powerful one for your relationship, especially if you have the TV and phone off. 
• Date night weekly (it might be going somewhere or it might be dedicated time together at home without any interruptions - no phones or work)
• Church weekly
• Walks together (twice a week or more)
• Back or foot massage (weekly)
• Dreaming together (planning future goals and dreams as a couple and family) monthly

Making a commitment to a great relationship requires more than feelings, it requires love, and love is verb.  So take the action!  


Dr. Simon Whittaker

So, how's it going with the relationship goals? During this time of social distancing with others and 24/7 close contact with immediate family, tensions are really getting strained. Some couples have realized that one of the reasons their relationship was so good is because they were able to spend 8-9 hours a day away from each other. When they arrived home after work, it was nice to be able to spend time together. For those couple who always wanted to have more time to spend together, this time of Covid has forced changes that have made it possible for some of them to have the time together that they always wanted (because more people are working from home).
Let's face it. No matter how much you may love someone, you still need some time to yourself. Of course if you don't spend enough time together, it's difficult to build and maintain a strong relationship that can naturally provide companionship, support, and comfort.
For 2021 don't think either-or ( either I have to choose me or the relationship).
Instead think both-and (both of us will commit to spending time together to strengthen our relationship and I will also commit to spending some time focusing on me so instead of losing myself in the relationship I will be able to be fully present in the relationship).

Ah, a new year--2021. It's a great time to think about the goals for the new year. Of course at work you have goals. Sometimes the goals are very specific, such as to get a certain number of sales if your in marketing. If you in a different area of customer service your goal might involve get a certain number positive reviews or comments about your work. If you work in a production area, like producing parts in a factory or producing graphics as a designer the goal might be to create a certain number of items. For some people the goal might be to just keep the job that you have. For others it might be to get a better job.
So, why should you think about goals for your relationship? Because relationships are dynamic, they're constantly changing. Sometimes in small ways and sometimes in large ways. But they constantly change. If you want to ensure your relationship changes for the better, you will want to have relationship goals that enhance and strengthen it. You'll be glad you did. ​

​In celebrating our wedding anniversary recently, I was thinking about the fact that we've been married for 18 years.  That's more than 150,000 hours. That's more than 9,460,800 minutes.  Thanks more than 567,648,000 seconds.  That means God has  given me lots of opportunities to grow, to learn, to love, and to be loved.  My Tyra . . . What a gift.  What a blessing.  What a journey . . . and this is only the beginning. 

If you or your spouse would like to have a more intimate relationship, good communication and great listening are vital.  If you want to get the most out of your relationship, there are tools that you can use to enhance the communication.  Although there are different levels of listening, Pretend Listening, may hold some real jewels that can make your relationship even better.   So, even if your communication isn't all that you'd like for it to be, Pretend Listening can provide some valuable tools (check out the YouTube video on this topic:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf7R81Ej9UjRKFTe6-_Svzg  )


- Dr. Simon Whittaker

#loveCPR, #lovetalk, #communciationinmarriage, #relationshipcommunication 

Although communication is important in your relationship, not all aspects of communication have to same value.  There are some aspects of communication that can be much more effective in enhancing and maintaining a high level of connection between the two of you.  Of course it's important to be able to speak in a way that allows you to share your thoughts and feelings.  But for those who want a higher level of connection or emotional intimacy, effective listening can do more for your relationship than you might imagine (as described in the YouTube video https://youtu.be/7kHDC59dy34  )

Dr. Simon Whittaker

#loveCPR, #communciationinmarriage, #relationshipcommunication