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Couple Goal 1: Dedicated Time Together

1/23/2021

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Making a commitment to spend time together is certainly an important goal. Couples that want to maintain a strong relationship, typically have activities that they make a commitment to do together.  Then they make a commitment to do those activities together.  I know it sounds very unromantic, but if necessary schedule the activity in your calendar.
Here are a few examples of activities to bring you together, strengthen and maintain your relationship:  
  • A meal together (preferably dinner).  This is a powerful one for your relationship, especially if you have the TV and phone off. 
  • Date night weekly (it might be going somewhere or it might be dedicated time together at home without any interruptions - no phones or work)
  • Church weekly
  • Walks together (twice a week or more)
  • Back or foot massage (weekly)
  • Dreaming together (planning future goals and dreams as a couple and family) monthly
Making a commitment to a great relationship requires more than feelings, it requires love, and love is verb.  So take the action!  


Dr. Simon Whittaker
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2021 The Year of Both-And

1/16/2021

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So, how's it going with the relationship goals? During this time of social distancing with others and 24/7 close contact with immediate family, tensions are really getting strained. Some couples have realized that one of the reasons their relationship was so good is because they were able to spend 8-9 hours a day away from each other. When they arrived home after work, it was nice to be able to spend time together. For those couple who always wanted to have more time to spend together, this time of Covid has forced changes that have made it possible for some of them to have the time together that they always wanted (because more people are working from home).
Let's face it. No matter how much you may love someone, you still need some time to yourself. Of course if you don't spend enough time together, it's difficult to build and maintain a strong relationship that can naturally provide companionship, support, and comfort.
For 2021 don't think either-or ( either I have to choose me or the relationship).
Instead think both-and (both of us will commit to spending time together to strengthen our relationship and I will also commit to spending some time focusing on me so instead of losing myself in the relationship I will be able to be fully present in the relationship).
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Relationship Goals?

1/9/2021

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Ah, a new year--2021. It's a great time to think about the goals for the new year. Of course at work you have goals. Sometimes the goals are very specific, such as to get a certain number of sales if your in marketing. If you in a different area of customer service your goal might involve get a certain number positive reviews or comments about your work. If you work in a production area, like producing parts in a factory or producing graphics as a designer the goal might be to create a certain number of items. For some people the goal might be to just keep the job that you have. For others it might be to get a better job.
So, why should you think about goals for your relationship? Because relationships are dynamic, they're constantly changing. Sometimes in small ways and sometimes in large ways. But they constantly change. If you want to ensure your relationship changes for the better, you will want to have relationship goals that enhance and strengthen it. You'll be glad you did. ​
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The Year-End Review of your Relationship (Pt2)

12/30/2020

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Considering the global pandemic of 2020, over 20 million job losses, social and racial unrest, the disruptions in our educational systems and the workforce, and having to spend more time than ever at home (with the people we say we love) . . . it's a good idea to keep things in perspective. If your relationship goal for 2020 was just to be able to smile at each other every day, and if you were able to achieve your goal congratulations.

If you've been a little more patient with your partner or spouse, you should count that as a success. If you've been able to grant each other a little more grace during this challenging time, that's a victory. If you've been able to laugh a little, and hug one another often, congratulations.
​
During this time I've learned just how important my wife is. I'm also learning not to sweat the small stuff. In the final analysis all I have is God and family. 

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The Year-End Review of your Relationship (Pt1)

12/30/2020

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As come to the end of the year, it's a time of reflection. What goals did you have for the year? You probably had some personal goals. Maybe to exercise 4 days a week, or decrease your sugar or alcohol intake. You may have had some professional goals. Like learning a new skill for work or learning to use a new software program that will help you to be more effective at your job. Did you have goals for your relationship? Hummm. . . .

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Anniversary--What a day to remember (Part 2)

12/18/2020

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​In celebrating our wedding anniversary recently, I was thinking about the fact that we've been married for 18 years.  That's more than 150,000 hours. That's more than 9,460,800 minutes.  Thanks more than 567,648,000 seconds.  That means God has  given me lots of opportunities to grow, to learn, to love, and to be loved.  My Tyra . . . What a gift.  What a blessing.  What a journey . . . and this is only the beginning. 
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Wedding Anniversary--What a day to remember (Part 1)

12/18/2020

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My wife, Tyra, and I recently celebrated another anniversary.  I even took the day off so I wouldn't be distracted by work.  For me taking the day off was a big deal.  I have taken the day off before for things like traveling away for our couples vacation or a family vacation.  But since we were just spending time together at home (trying to minimize traveling because of the pandemic) it would seem that there's no reason to take the day off work.  Then I remembered that I didn't take the day off to avoid being distracted by work; I took the day off so that I could spend time with  her and appreciate the incredible wife God has blessed me with.  So, it's not like walking away from work for a day, it's like walking with my bride in the sunlight and focusing on us and this one moment in time.

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Passionate Relationship Principle – Ratio of Positive vs Negative Interactions

9/15/2017

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Passionate Relationship Principle – Ratio of Positive vs Negative Interactions (What’s your number?) If you haven’t done so already, Like the Facebook page to see the latest posts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI0tPNVfNwY 
 
​Take a moment and check out the video; it describes a key characteristics of truly happy couples (and it’s great inside information for those who may choose to be in a relationship at some point) —the ratio of positive vs negative interact
ions 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI0tPNVfNwY (I first recorded this in Facebook live and later uploaded it to YouTube.) 


You’ll find this and other videos to help you maintain a great relationship at the YouTube channel for the Center for Passionate Relationships https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyA1zVwPc9-34I4wzLfTZmg .  Subscribe to the channel to see the latest videos. 
 
We’ll also have a more formal grand opening on Thursday, 10/26/2017 from 12 noon – 1pm to allow you to get better acquainted with the Center for Passionate Relationship.

For relationship or sexual integrity coaching, reach me at http://www.centerforpassionaterelationships.com/
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Pretend Listening

1/6/2016

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If you or your spouse would like to have a more intimate relationship, good communication and great listening are vital.  If you want to get the most out of your relationship, there are tools that you can use to enhance the communication.  Although there are different levels of listening, Pretend Listening, may hold some real jewels that can make your relationship even better.   So, even if your communication isn't all that you'd like for it to be, Pretend Listening can provide some valuable tools (check out the YouTube video on this topic:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf7R81Ej9UjRKFTe6-_Svzg  )


- Dr. Simon Whittaker

#loveCPR, #lovetalk, #communciationinmarriage, #relationshipcommunication 
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Key to  Passionate Communication

12/23/2015

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Although communication is important in your relationship, not all aspects of communication have to same value.  There are some aspects of communication that can be much more effective in enhancing and maintaining a high level of connection between the two of you.  Of course it's important to be able to speak in a way that allows you to share your thoughts and feelings.  But for those who want a higher level of connection or emotional intimacy, effective listening can do more for your relationship than you might imagine (as described in the YouTube video https://youtu.be/7kHDC59dy34  )

Dr. Simon Whittaker

#loveCPR, #communciationinmarriage, #relationshipcommunication 
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    Author

    Dr. Simon Whittaker
    is a  relationship  and sexual integrity coach,  and former host of the Radio Talk Show Relationship Fridays.  He helps singles prepare for their ideal relationship and helps couples enhance their relationship. He also and serves as a recovery coach specializing in addressing lust, porn, sex, and love addiction.  

    The Blog - 
    After examining national research of long-term, happily married couples by Olson, Olson-Sigg, and Larson (2008), we are presenting  powerful tools in the blog.  I will be focusing on one of the important characteristics and give specific tools and principles that you can apply immediately to enhance your relationship.   Whether you are single and want to prepare for a great relationship someday or married and want to ensure that your marriage is as fulfilling as it can be, you’ll find these principles to be valuable.   After all don’t you want your relationship to be passionate?   

    Teleconference audio files can be accessed by clicking on Services then Podcasts. 

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