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Boundaries?  . . . What?

11/12/2014

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Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Boundaries?  . . . What?              When you get married, you and your spouse are no longer two, you become one.  The Bible says it this way:  “The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man.   For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  (New International Version, Genesis 2:23-24).  This implies that the marriage relationship should have precedence over the relationship that the husband had with his parents, and it should take precedence over the relationship that the wife had with her parents.  The married couple is now a unit, and regarding major decisions they are to work together as a unit.  Ideally, they work as a unit in practicing their faith and worship, in raising and instilling values in their children, in their finances, and developing a vision and goals for their family. 

The married couple, the husband and wife, is one flesh regarding many things, and their relationship should take priority over their relationships with other people.  But, both spouses still have individual strengths, weaknesses, attitudes, behaviors, preferences, choices, likes, dislikes, and values.  Boundaries are used to help ensure that each person can be in the relationship without losing themselves.  As suggested by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, if you are in a relationship and you find that someone else it trying to control your feelings, attitudes, preferences, decisions, choices, and personal values, your boundaries are being violated. 1   If your boundaries are violated on an ongoing basis the relationship is bound to fail because, either you will be so miserable in the relationship that you’ll have to end it, or you will become so resentful of someone trying to change or control you that you will be miserable.  Boundaries provide safety so that both spouses can enjoy individual safety, love, and security, while also providing for the couple to experience safety, love, and security.  They protect the couple and the individuals.


Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Boundaries?  . . . What? 

Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)

 Notes:

1.      Henry Cloud, John Townsend, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life (Michigan: Zondervan,1992)

 #boundaries, #commitment


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    Author

    Dr. Simon Whittaker
    is a  relationship  and sexual integrity coach,  and former host of the Radio Talk Show Relationship Fridays.  He helps singles prepare for their ideal relationship and helps couples enhance their relationship. He also and serves as a recovery coach specializing in addressing lust, porn, sex, and love addiction.  

    The Blog - 
    After examining national research of long-term, happily married couples by Olson, Olson-Sigg, and Larson (2008), we are presenting  powerful tools in the blog.  I will be focusing on one of the important characteristics and give specific tools and principles that you can apply immediately to enhance your relationship.   Whether you are single and want to prepare for a great relationship someday or married and want to ensure that your marriage is as fulfilling as it can be, you’ll find these principles to be valuable.   After all don’t you want your relationship to be passionate?   

    Teleconference audio files can be accessed by clicking on Services then Podcasts. 

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