The married couple, the husband and wife, is one flesh regarding many things, and their relationship should take priority over their relationships with other people. But, both spouses still have individual strengths, weaknesses, attitudes, behaviors, preferences, choices, likes, dislikes, and values. Boundaries are used to help ensure that each person can be in the relationship without losing themselves. As suggested by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, if you are in a relationship and you find that someone else it trying to control your feelings, attitudes, preferences, decisions, choices, and personal values, your boundaries are being violated. 1 If your boundaries are violated on an ongoing basis the relationship is bound to fail because, either you will be so miserable in the relationship that you’ll have to end it, or you will become so resentful of someone trying to change or control you that you will be miserable. Boundaries provide safety so that both spouses can enjoy individual safety, love, and security, while also providing for the couple to experience safety, love, and security. They protect the couple and the individuals.
Today’s passionate relationship principle (PRP) is this: Boundaries? . . . What?
Dr. Simon Whittaker – The Relationship Doctor at Center for Passionate Relationships (CPR)
1. Henry Cloud, John Townsend, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life (Michigan: Zondervan,1992)