​"The best way to know true love is to have ONE true love." - Simon Whittaker 

​"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
— Dave Meurer

​As we approach the fourth of July, Independence Day, we have an opportunity to reflect on and appreciate the independence of the United States from Great Britain. Of course, since this blog is about relationships, I have to ask Do you experience independence in your relationship? Maybe a better question is, should you have independence in your relationship?

Healthy relationships are a result of people being together because they want to be, not because they have to be. They don't have to be with each other, instead they want to be with each other. Each of them has enough emotional independence (they're not needy), so they can give to the relationship; they are in a position to give and not just take. When each person has enough independence (emotionally) then they are in a position to receive from the other person and also replenish their partner by giving emotionally. So, interdependence is only possible after each person has sufficient independence.

Just like the U.S. had to become independent of Great Britain before the U.S. and Great Britain could work together as allies. So, this Independence Day, are you and your partner working together as interdependent allies?

As February comes to an end and spring is around the corner, it's time to start thinking about spring cleaning. As you look through your closets, what are some things that you don't use or need any more? What about the shirts that you haven't worn in over 2 years. I have some of several that I haven’t worn in the last 2 years.   Why do I keep them? Because I'm used to seeing them there.
When I go to get dressed in the morning, I'm used to seeing them, and ignoring them, and skipping over them, and finding a shirt that I actually want to wear.  I know, when I hear myself say that out loud it sounds crazy. 
It's time to start thinking about spring cleaning. At the end of March I'll share a little about what I've gotten rid of.  Some of the things in my closet will be hard to let go of, but I know it's time to get rid of them. Getting rid of some of those items will probably have an emotional impact on me. 
Relationships also need to be examined to see what things may need to change to enhance the partnership. I'm thankful for God has given me such an awesome wife, and the opportunity to examine things in the relationship that no longer fit us.  Then we can be even happier, and I can continue to grow in learning to be emotionally present and emotionally intimate.  This is tough stuff, especially for men.  But, the marriage is worth it, and the beautiful woman God has given me deserves it.  ​

​Valentine's Day is typically a wonderful time for those who are dating, engaged, or married.  The days leading up to it are often full of anticipation.  But, what about the days and weeks after Valentine's Day?  It's been a week, or more depending on when you're reading this post, since Valentine's Day.   So, how are you feeling?  Is the love and excitement still there?  Or, if you[re like I used to be, you might be thinking: "Thank goodness that's over.  I won't have to deal with that for another year."  I used to feel so much pressure to try to express my appreciation, to make Valentine's Day special.  I've learned that every day is an opportunity to express my appreciation for my wife, my Valentine.  These days I don't feel as much pressure to make Valentine's Day special because I try to put more emphasis on appreciating her on the regular days.   Today my appreciation for her was in the form of picking up dinner so she didn't have to think about what to fix for us, and taking the kids outside to play so she didn't have to deal with mommy guilt about the kids being inside all day.  So, beyond Valentine's Day is today and tomorrow.  Have you expressed your appreciation for the one you love today?  How will you express your appreciation and love tomorrow?