Let's face it. No matter how much you may love someone, you still need some time to yourself. Of course if you don't spend enough time together, it's difficult to build and maintain a strong relationship that can naturally provide companionship, support, and comfort.
For 2021 don't think either-or ( either I have to choose me or the relationship).
Instead think both-and (both of us will commit to spending time together to strengthen our relationship and I will also commit to spending some time focusing on me so instead of losing myself in the relationship I will be able to be fully present in the relationship).